When it comes to characters or stories, it seems like a lot of writer's end up wrecking the canvas. Not ruining it, but causing a little chaos. The usual way people develop characters is by growing them out of their problems and making them better people but I like to do it a different way. To me, breaking down a character over time is a much more interesting process.
Building a character up to their peak and then tearing them down into something else. It's developing but in a more realistic way. Or at least that's my opinion. Not to mention it's much more interesting and rare to see a main character break down instead of grow.
The only way I like to incorporate this in my stories is when the main character has grown to a certain point. When they're at their potential, so to speak, I've always had a habit of bringing them down again. Usually in horrible scenarios, but that's just the writer's way.
Inverting the process is interesting to me, and in a way gives the author a better chance to show more angles of the character then before. How they react, how their personalities change, if new habits arise during their downfall... All of it, I think, helps develop the character even more. Even when they're falling.
Like I said before, a lot of people grow their characters from the start and keep going. There's nothing wrong with this process, but as a reader I've never really felt concern over something that's happened to the character post-story. Say, if a story starts with a character who's parents are dead. I don't feel anything concerning them, it's just a fact. Now, if this character's parents died later in the story, I would be heartbroken and feel sad. It's all about when.
Watching a character you've read about grow can be great. You feel happy for them and proud that they've come so far. Watching the same person deteriorate would be just the opposite. When it comes to writing, I've always felt that sad or ominous stories have a greater emotional toll, and in my writing I try to play on that as much as I can without over-doing it. Writing that can invoke emotions is the greatest kind, in my opinion.
- Laura.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Perpetually Screaming
Talking is one of the things I do best. I could go on for hours about different subjects, my stories, my political opinions, my sexuality, gender, anything really, you name it! It's all just pours out and sometimes I even make people laugh. I guess the reason why I talk so much is because there's always something to say, and I hate it when things aren't said. Sometimes all you need is a good conversation to liven things up!
I've been wondering how that'll effect me in the fall when I go to high school. I'd like to think that I'll be able to talk as much as I want, especially with all the people around, but I have a feeling that people there aren't exactly interested in talking about the things I talk about. It's sad, especially because I know for a fact that no average kid my age would ever share the same interests.
Sexuality and school is another thing I've been thinking about. I honestly don't know how people would react to meeting someone pansexual and if they'd treat them negatively. But, it's not that I've been worried about. Honestly, I've been more worried about people salting me down to being bisexual, which is the most uncomfortable word in the world for me. I hate it, and to tag that on a pansexual is wrong. In my opinion. I know most pan people don't mind, but the idea really bothers me.
I like to think I'll be able to slip into my new life a bit more gracefully since I won't be the only new kid, but I'm still a bit worried. Still paranoid. It's frustrating because I can't really talk to anyone about my issues with school without them making too many assumptions.
Being home-schooled, well, I don't know what to say about it. No opinion really, but I hate two things about home-schoolers.
1) When they think they're better then people who go to school. I swear to god, the whole "the world is your classroom and a actual classroom is just a cage blah blah" thing is the most frustrating thing in the world and those are the home-schoolers that give us the good name. The whole "holier-then-thou" routine is simply disgusting. I could go on about it forever.
2) The home-schoolers who don't do anything. Literally, I will go on the record and say that parents who 'home-school' their kids but don't make them do any actual work should have their kids taken away from them. I don't care how much they 'learn' without lessons, it's wrong and you're letting them grow up ignorant and lazy. Education is just as important as food and water, and the home-schoolers that do this are literally the worst of our kind.
I just, bleh. I really hate it. I really do, and this is one of the things I feel so strongly about and I just hate it when I see situations like that. It's not just the parent's fault, sometimes it's the kids too, and when they have a combination of the two things mentioned above I just can't take it anymore. Luckily, I've managed to stay away from those categories, and I'm glad for that.
There are just so many things going on right now but so few, and the only thing I'm looking forward to is high school, and what little future it might give me. I get so wound up, so paranoid, and so angry about education that when I actually get out there and taste what the public gets then maybe I can appreciate myself a little more.
There are things about school I'm afraid of. Not bullies, poor lessons, or anything like that. It's the people I'm worried about. Not what they'll do to me, no, I'm afraid of becoming like the ones I've seen so far. I don't want to become like that, to loose everything I've build up. It's still shaky and I just have this feeling that once I go there everything I've learned the past few months will start to seem insignificant and I'll forget it all.
Perpetually screaming, that's me, only with the exception of it being mental. But I'm not complaining, there's no point in that. Sometimes you just have to roll with it, have a good laugh, and let it all go. In the end, that's all you really can do.
-Laura.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Flipping Through Life Like a Blind Cow
Funnily enough, I'm actually getting around to that "personal update" post I mentioned earlier! Now that I've thought about it awhile, I'm semi-ready to jot some stuff down and give the few viewers present a good old fashioned teen-angst post.
Life. Ah, life, life, life. Sometimes it's quiet for good reasons and sometimes it's absolute dead silence, which tends to be a bit more eerie then the first. At the moment, the best way to describe me would be spiritually dead. No inspiration, no wanting, nothing. A blank slate, basically. And being in that state of mind is more disruptive then you might think!
I like to think I'm at the semi-point in life where I've backed myself into a corner and there are only two doors, and if I don't pick one the room I'm hiding in will slowly suffocate me. The thing is, I don't know what either door represents, so honestly, I have no idea what I'm choosing or what I'd be leaving. If any of that analogy makes since, +5 points to you.
Being spiritually dead is pretty boring. Maybe I'll find religion in the meantime! Or, you know, think about those two doors I mentioned earlier. It's hard solving a problem when you don't really view it as a problem. I wouldn't call it being depressed, because if anything I don't feel sad. Just neutral, which is boring. And when you're bored the easiest thing to default to is anger.
Surprisingly I haven't resorted to that, which only makes things worse. I'm not lonely either, which is also surprising because contrary to what most people think, I love socializing. That said, I do feel a tiny feeling that makes me want to have a companion present.
Two doors. A good analogy, but I'm already getting tired of it. Too much "hoodoo spiritual words that are trying to hard to be deep" going on. Sigh. Ugh, that's what I hate about being in this state of mind. Everything is boring and I just end up irritating myself. I just feel like I'm on a big cliff just waiting for something big to happen so I can give all my attention to it.
Something new, that's what I need. Sometime fresh that's actually positive in nature. 'Haven't had something like that in at least a year now. I could handle it, but the question is, what could that new thing be? Fresh, fresh, fresh. God I haven't had a fresh thing happen in my life for years now.
It could definitely get me out of my funk, especially since my "fighting-bears-under-waterfalls-while-meditating-in-my-mind-dojo" thing. Who knows, since I've straightened myself out maybe the world will be better this time. After all, no one's seen me yet. Maybe I'll finally get that one friend I've always wanted.
Fresh. Not a fresh start, or "new beginning". No, fuck that. That's not what I need. I know exactly what I need now, what a look in the soul this update has been. Hmm. I think I know what door to take, but whoa now it's going to be a change of pace.
With that said, even though they'll never see it, I wanna give a shout-out to my friend for setting me on this pace. One sentence! One sentence was all it took for them to shake me out of it and make me take this mini-path in the first place. I mean god damn. What a friend!
-Laura.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Writing Tips
Over the past few years I've been writing I've seen a lot of different ways people tell stories, and a lot of ways that are just incorrect, in my opinion. Ever since I started writing I've changed my style, and right now I'm not particularly happy with it, but still, I try to stick to some basic rules.
1. Adjectives are your friends, but give them space and don't use twenty in the same sentence. Description is good but for the love of god sometimes you just need to say it and stop adding all the flourish. Honestly, it's more irritating then you'd think.
I used to go crazy with them in my old stories and fanfictions. It was a nut house, and when young writers (and old ones!) do that it spells "BAD WRITER" in big bold letters. All in all, keep it cool because sometimes simplicity is your friend! Description is key in a story and painting a picture in the reader's mind is the goal, but they don't need to know the exact color of curtains and it's ethnicity in one paragraph.
2. Mary-Sues are not your friends. A writer's worst fear, and rightfully so. If you have a Mary-Sue, it doesn't matter how great of a writer you are, because in the end it will bring you down and keep going until you've reached the fires of hell. There are so many ways you can have a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu, and honestly it would take a entire other post to go over the guidelines of how not to make one, but if you're a writer then I'm sure you already have a good idea of what they are.
Anyway, if you do have a Mary-Sue, then it's time to cancel all plans on writing because you have work to do! Character re-evaluation is the key, and if you don't have time to do that, then writing is not the thing for you. Sometimes you just have to wipe the whole slat clean, but trust me, in the end it's probably going to be better then what you started with.
3. Stick to the basics and get to the point. When writing, try not to use over-complicated words that'll confuse your readers. You don't want them to have to pause and go look at a dictionary in the middle of a chapter. What a lot of fanfiction writer's (from what I've seen) seem to do, and in some cases actual celebrity writers (see: Stephanie Meyer) is use words that flourish everything and make it way too complicated. So, when I'm writing I always try to keep to the basics!
4. Don't stall. If you're writing a story and there's a small hole between major story points, don't bullshit it and make some boring little in-between thing. If a scene has absolutely no point other then to 1) have two characters "develop" together in-between major plot points, 2) stall the story and then have something happen to introduce the next arc, 3) small scenes where friends go to the mall/cafe/shopping or anything that seems absolutely pointless.
Now, if you actually have something plot developing and the "in-between" is actually purposefully put in the story, by all means, go right ahead! But if it's not necessary, don't add it!
Those are the four major things I try to keep in mind while writing, because no matter what form I'm trying, those are my own little golden rules. There are so many other little tiny things here and there, but honestly, what's the point at being nitpicky? Of course there are different types of styles, but just because different styles exist, that doesn't excuse bad writing, and you can't just pass it off as "your style."
I don't think I said it before, but I'm sorry if I was a bit blunt here! Writing is close to my heart and I've become quite a bit of a critique. Haha, well, I think I'll try writing up a person update post later today, just to keep everyone up-to-date with how my life is and how things are. Honestly though, it all depends on whether or not I'll be awake! I've been having some problems with sleeping.
- Laura.
1. Adjectives are your friends, but give them space and don't use twenty in the same sentence. Description is good but for the love of god sometimes you just need to say it and stop adding all the flourish. Honestly, it's more irritating then you'd think.
I used to go crazy with them in my old stories and fanfictions. It was a nut house, and when young writers (and old ones!) do that it spells "BAD WRITER" in big bold letters. All in all, keep it cool because sometimes simplicity is your friend! Description is key in a story and painting a picture in the reader's mind is the goal, but they don't need to know the exact color of curtains and it's ethnicity in one paragraph.
2. Mary-Sues are not your friends. A writer's worst fear, and rightfully so. If you have a Mary-Sue, it doesn't matter how great of a writer you are, because in the end it will bring you down and keep going until you've reached the fires of hell. There are so many ways you can have a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu, and honestly it would take a entire other post to go over the guidelines of how not to make one, but if you're a writer then I'm sure you already have a good idea of what they are.
Anyway, if you do have a Mary-Sue, then it's time to cancel all plans on writing because you have work to do! Character re-evaluation is the key, and if you don't have time to do that, then writing is not the thing for you. Sometimes you just have to wipe the whole slat clean, but trust me, in the end it's probably going to be better then what you started with.
3. Stick to the basics and get to the point. When writing, try not to use over-complicated words that'll confuse your readers. You don't want them to have to pause and go look at a dictionary in the middle of a chapter. What a lot of fanfiction writer's (from what I've seen) seem to do, and in some cases actual celebrity writers (see: Stephanie Meyer) is use words that flourish everything and make it way too complicated. So, when I'm writing I always try to keep to the basics!
4. Don't stall. If you're writing a story and there's a small hole between major story points, don't bullshit it and make some boring little in-between thing. If a scene has absolutely no point other then to 1) have two characters "develop" together in-between major plot points, 2) stall the story and then have something happen to introduce the next arc, 3) small scenes where friends go to the mall/cafe/shopping or anything that seems absolutely pointless.
Now, if you actually have something plot developing and the "in-between" is actually purposefully put in the story, by all means, go right ahead! But if it's not necessary, don't add it!
Those are the four major things I try to keep in mind while writing, because no matter what form I'm trying, those are my own little golden rules. There are so many other little tiny things here and there, but honestly, what's the point at being nitpicky? Of course there are different types of styles, but just because different styles exist, that doesn't excuse bad writing, and you can't just pass it off as "your style."
I don't think I said it before, but I'm sorry if I was a bit blunt here! Writing is close to my heart and I've become quite a bit of a critique. Haha, well, I think I'll try writing up a person update post later today, just to keep everyone up-to-date with how my life is and how things are. Honestly though, it all depends on whether or not I'll be awake! I've been having some problems with sleeping.
- Laura.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Four Stories
1. When I was little, around two or so, we (my family) used to have dinner at my grandparent's house. One time when we were having dinner I apparently dropped my fork, and right after dropping it I yelled "God dammit!". My older sister also apparently was in a situation like that but instead of yelling that she said "Fuck!"
2. I wrote my first story when I was around ten. It was a vampire-romance that started out with two lesbians (one human, one vampire) who were on the run but after some re-arranging I ended up giving them each a respective boyfriend (one werewolf, one vampire). I wrote 193 pages before losing it to a computer crash.
3. Since I first started collecting, I've gathered $620 worth of manga and have 66 books of various series (all of this not including merc and video). It's completely ironic because I actually have a deep-seeded hate of most manga and can barely stand to look at it anymore, much less get through an issue in one sitting. (I literally just spent 30mins going through my stuff and adding everything up for this, lol)
4. I used to have a pair of friends who were brothers, and occasionally we would wrestle. I've always liked messing around, and even though it was obvious I could handle them we still went at it a lot. One time when they both came at me the same time, I accidentally tossed one over my shoulder and he hurt his. Now, of course his brother was laughing like no tomorrow, and the one I threw down had a lot of "man grit", if you know what I mean, and went after his brother. To say the least, it when down a bit quirkily.
While the laughing one ran away, his brother chased after him, pulled down his pants and then they fought each other in their boxers. In a public park.
2. I wrote my first story when I was around ten. It was a vampire-romance that started out with two lesbians (one human, one vampire) who were on the run but after some re-arranging I ended up giving them each a respective boyfriend (one werewolf, one vampire). I wrote 193 pages before losing it to a computer crash.
3. Since I first started collecting, I've gathered $620 worth of manga and have 66 books of various series (all of this not including merc and video). It's completely ironic because I actually have a deep-seeded hate of most manga and can barely stand to look at it anymore, much less get through an issue in one sitting. (I literally just spent 30mins going through my stuff and adding everything up for this, lol)
4. I used to have a pair of friends who were brothers, and occasionally we would wrestle. I've always liked messing around, and even though it was obvious I could handle them we still went at it a lot. One time when they both came at me the same time, I accidentally tossed one over my shoulder and he hurt his. Now, of course his brother was laughing like no tomorrow, and the one I threw down had a lot of "man grit", if you know what I mean, and went after his brother. To say the least, it when down a bit quirkily.
While the laughing one ran away, his brother chased after him, pulled down his pants and then they fought each other in their boxers. In a public park.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
4:14:47am
Honestly I don't feel like typing right now. I just want to go to bed and try to start the day and not feel the way my torso is feeling right now. Which is nothing. Literally, i don't feel anything right now other then my dear old friend called Isolation.
Tomorrow I'm going to help my mom get settled into her new apartment/house. I don't even know. I really honestly don't know how I feel about it and the only thing that's going through my head in big bright bold lettering is "ALONE". And god fucking dammit I swear to god I don't need that right now.
I don't want to be conscious. Not because I'm angry or sad but because I literally can't seem to assign a feeling to this situation. I don't know how I feel and it's toture and the only thing I want to do is go to bed because there is no point in being concious right now.
It was okay earlier and I was fine but now it's just weird and I really hate it and everything has seemed so ridiculous lately and I just want everything to STOP for ONE SECOND and let me ajust before launching another canon-ball at me.
It's going to be okay, I know that, but it's not and I just want everyone to be happy but at the same time I don't want to lose my mom even if it's only during the nighttime because then we don't get to do any of the things we used to do like watch bad tvs shows in the iddle of the night and she won't be here to catch me while I'm up late at night or tell me to do the dishes or do my homework and any of the other things.
i just don't know how to deal with this because I don't need to vent or anything because I'm not angry. I'm just upset a but at the same time I'm not sad either? I just want to be distracted but all of a sudden everything looks different and I'm realizing that she's not going to live with us anymore and even though she'll be here durin the day she won't be here when I go to bed, or when I leave for school in the morning and she won't be here and she won't be able to talk to be or notice when I'm sad because she'ls going to be gone and I don't want to handle it.
i just don't want to be ablone. i hate being alone and how am I going to get by if I only see my mom during the day and everything is falling apart and I just won't do anything useful because I honestly don't see the point anymore? when i get up in the morning there isn't any reason why and at this point I'm just sca i'm not even scared i'm just god it's just terrible and I don't know what to do becasue there's technically no problem?
i just don't know and honestly i just want to go to sleep right now so bye
Tomorrow I'm going to help my mom get settled into her new apartment/house. I don't even know. I really honestly don't know how I feel about it and the only thing that's going through my head in big bright bold lettering is "ALONE". And god fucking dammit I swear to god I don't need that right now.
I don't want to be conscious. Not because I'm angry or sad but because I literally can't seem to assign a feeling to this situation. I don't know how I feel and it's toture and the only thing I want to do is go to bed because there is no point in being concious right now.
It was okay earlier and I was fine but now it's just weird and I really hate it and everything has seemed so ridiculous lately and I just want everything to STOP for ONE SECOND and let me ajust before launching another canon-ball at me.
It's going to be okay, I know that, but it's not and I just want everyone to be happy but at the same time I don't want to lose my mom even if it's only during the nighttime because then we don't get to do any of the things we used to do like watch bad tvs shows in the iddle of the night and she won't be here to catch me while I'm up late at night or tell me to do the dishes or do my homework and any of the other things.
i just don't know how to deal with this because I don't need to vent or anything because I'm not angry. I'm just upset a but at the same time I'm not sad either? I just want to be distracted but all of a sudden everything looks different and I'm realizing that she's not going to live with us anymore and even though she'll be here durin the day she won't be here when I go to bed, or when I leave for school in the morning and she won't be here and she won't be able to talk to be or notice when I'm sad because she'ls going to be gone and I don't want to handle it.
i just don't want to be ablone. i hate being alone and how am I going to get by if I only see my mom during the day and everything is falling apart and I just won't do anything useful because I honestly don't see the point anymore? when i get up in the morning there isn't any reason why and at this point I'm just sca i'm not even scared i'm just god it's just terrible and I don't know what to do becasue there's technically no problem?
i just don't know and honestly i just want to go to sleep right now so bye
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