Nothing stays the same nowadays. Leaves change color, the sun rises, the moon falls, the wind gets hotter and people start walking around. Animals shed, and most of the good TV channels are dead.
Every week, every day, things change. Nature, animals, people and feelings. Nothing stays the same for more then a minute, even if your sitting. Sometimes we don't even notice the change until it's already complete, and it can be upsetting.
People seem to change the most. Personalities, likes, dislikes, opinions, they can all change so fast we don't even know what's going on. Some people love change, they just can't wait for something new to come along! But there are people who don't like change. For those people, change can be scary. It means there'll be something different in their lives that they might not be familiar with.
Some people are afraid of their friends changing, because then they might move on. Others are afraid of moving into a new place, completely leaving their homes behind for something new.
Personally, I try to embrace change. In fact, there have been a lot of changes in my life lately. Some good, some bad.
The bad things aren't very fun, but the good things make it much better. Some people I know have been saying I've changed personality wise, actually, a lot of people have made that comment.
But the truth is, my personality hasn't changed at all. In fact, it's at it's all-time-high. All my life I've always been hesitant to say what I want, or speak my true opinions. All that holding back finally caught up with me while I was on my Vacation in San Diego. I tried my best to ignore it, but once I got home it hit again, harder. I barely came out of my room for a week, and basically snarled at anyone who came within 5ft of me. Any inspiration for writing was gone and I forced myself to write simple things. Nothing was interesting, I only wanted to bitch-slap my friends so they'd understand what I wanted to tell them.
It got to the point where I just needed to get over it, but I was still angry. Finally I saw my mom, she'd been away for the entire week at a friends house. I opened up to her and talked about how I'd been sad, and kept going for 3 hours. Seriously. Three hours. Afterwards I felt ok again.
Looking back on it, I know I've been screwing myself over. That week was unbearable, and I never want it to happen again. So, I'm going to change how I work. Like I said in a earlier post, I'm gonna be myself from now on. And so start off, I'm gonna post a meme I did. It's the "I hate List" meme, and I decided to do it a few weeks ago. It's been growing pretty fast, and is completely honest. So, without further ado, I'm gonna paste it below.
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I hate how the only way I can deal with things is to bury them.
I hate when I think I look great in a new pair of shorts, then realize I look bad.
I hate people who don't brush my teeth.
I hate my phobia of Slenderman.
I hate how I couldn't sleep for days because of him.
I hate how I'm ok watching people die in movies and games.
I hate it when people think I'm stupid because I play video games.
I hate people who throw my pets around like they don't matter.
I hate how I hate so many things.
I hate how I want to beat the living shit out of someone.
I hate how I have to lie to people just so they'll feel good.
I hate how I can talk someone down face-to-face, but over chat I give in.
I hate people who don't respect my opinion.
I hate people who think I'm stupid for liking Japanese and Metal music.
I hate that I never say what I want to say.
I hate that I put friends first.
I hate how my real opinions are hateful and mean.
I hate it when people pretend to care about my stories.
I hate the fact that I have no one who I can sit and go into extreme detail about myself with.
I hate how this list is barely covering how much I'm hating.
I hate how people think I'm stupid or naive for wanting a happy life.
I hate how I can't talk to anyone.
I hate how I can' speak my mind to people, but when I'm alone everything is ok.
I hate that I hate talking on phones.
I hate how nice it feels to write.
I hate how much of a Youtube addict I am.
I hate that I watch a advice show.
I hate that I ask for advice from strangers.
I hate how I can't draw for shit.
I hate how I can't tell people what music I'm seriously into.
I hate it when I get GameRage, and people think I'm retarded.
I hate it when my mom see's me playing Assasin's Creed/Fallout and acts like I'm stupid.
I hate it when I think something's funny or amusing, but can't laugh.
I hate it when people get offended by that.
I hate how the new cartoons on CartoonNetwork are so shitty.
I hate how much of a Altair fangirl I am.
I hate oneshots. A lot.
I hate that I get homesick everytime I go to someones house.
I hate dramatic people.
I hate self-pitying people, they disgust me.
I hate people who think they can relate to everything just because they've had a few tough moments in life.
I hate singing choir music.
I hate how every single Korean guy looks like a girl.
I hate people who think wars are good.
I hate republicans. They're horrible people.
I hate religion.
I hate 3D movies.
I hate how the Government works.
I hate people who don't believe in Healthcare.
I hate friends who don't support me going to the gym.
I hate that I have a stomach ache right now.
I hate roses.
I hate people who openly say they have a huge secret, then don't tell you.
***
So yeah, that's what I have so far. It's not meant to be taken seriously, but I do dislike all the things listed (I don't hate anything on the list. Theres no point in that). :)
Alright, this is already painfully long, so I'm gonna end this post here.
Thanks for reading!
-L
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