Update + Things that Happened This Year

 Normally I'd apologize for not updating or posting anything lately, but really, I think it doesn't matter as long as I actually continue to post in general, right? Or maybe not, who knows. Anyway, I've had a lot of things on my mind but haven't really been up to writing them down. One thing in particular has been bubbling in my subconscious is how I view, and used to view, myself physically.

 Back in the day I used to be perfectly fine with how I looked, then when I got older my natural female insecurities started to sink in, and soon enough I started getting pretty upset about it, especially considering I wanted to impress my crush.

 So time went by like it usually does, and for ages I felt like the ugliest person in the world. Well, that changed this year, specifically over the summer and fall, and now in winter. One of the big changes I've noticed is that now when I look in the mirror I don't immediately think "UGLY" and instead something like "Hmm, looking nice today."

 It's pretty cool, I think. Definitely a big improvement compared to my past-self-hating-self. :)

 Anyway, moving on. So now that the year is coming to a close I've been thinking about a lot of things that have happened this year, and man, so much has happened. Good and bad.

 I think one of the most major things is that this year I lost my oldest and best friends. It's one of the things I wish I could change most this year and honestly, losing her bothers me more then I'd like to admit. Especially since I was the one who pushed to end our friendship. She was my best friend since I was 6 or 7 years old, and for awhile we even "dated" (which ended up becoming one of the best times in my life, because she was just... wow.). Things ended really bad and I wish I could take back so many things, even now I wish I could apologize to her.

 Another major thing that happened was losing my second-closest friend only a few months after loosing the first. We met through my best friend and became good friends pretty fast! We stayed friends even after I split from my old BFF and she became my new one. Honestly, sometimes it was hard because she was younger then me and I couldn't always talk to her, but it was still a good friendship and a considerable loss. This time however, I wasn't the one to end the friendship (if I had ruined it, holy crap that would've sent me over the edge). In the end she had misunderstood something I said and there was a fight. We haven't talked since.

 I'll be perfectly honest here. I miss both of them and think of them often. Over the past few months I've had time to let go and let the reality (that we'll never talk again) sink in, and still, I wish both of them great lives. I'm actually kinda proud that I've let go of the malice and just let the good feelings come in when it comes to them.    
Even though they'll never know, I'm so thankful for our friendships because even though we don't have them any more, they helped me become the person I am today.

 One of the good things that happened this year was me taking my interest in school and writing seriously and getting busy with my education. It's really helped me start to think about what I want to do with my life and so many more options have surfaced! Now instead of only taking a interest in writing I've started working on my drawing skills and have even thought about a future film directing career! It's been a real eye-opener!

 Another good thing that has happened is me discovering some of my new online interests such as Tumblr. Tumblr has given me new insight to the world and it's problems, specifically the kind of things kids are normally sheltered from. Again, it's been a real eye-opener and I'm started to feel less and less naive about the world every time something serious pops up on my dashboard. In my last post (I think) I mentioned a few of the things I'd seen on there, so if you'd like a better view on that, head on back a post or two!

 One last thing, then I'm done! One of the more recently shocking things that happened was on my very own Facebook! After logging on today I received I friend request, and thinking nothing about it, accepted it. As it turns out, that friend request was from one of my old kung-fu friends! Way back in the day we went to the same kung-fu dojo and were good friends! And now, after 6 years of loosing contact, we've found each other again and as it turns out, she lives nearby! This is one of the only times I'm genuinely glad Facebook exists, because that's just awesome! I don't even know how she found me!

 Ahh, well, I think this post is long enough so I'll end it here. But really quick, I saw that this blog has over 4,000 views!! That's amazing! but I think the views are for those anime pictures I posted ages ago. Thanks for reading,

Laura.