Idle Functioning

 School starts in a little bit, and so far I'm not regretting the negligence I've shown towards catching up. Thing's have been going relatively good. No bad moods, and there have been quite a lot of things to keep me occupied. Nothing bad has happened in awhile, in fact, a few good things have popped up.

 I got my hair cut about two days ago. It's a lot shorter now, and since I had 10+ inches I got to donate it to a cancer wig fund. I'm still a bit touchy with the length, though. I'd prefer it a bit shorter, but at the end of the day it's better then that I had before. It feels nice to finally have cut it, especially since my only reason for growing it out in the first place is gone. Well, not exactly. I'm still a bit fuzzy on that part.

 But anyway, as this post I found on Tumblr says...

Cutting off hair in ancient Asia (Japan, china, Korea & possibly some other Asian cultures) symbolizes being banished or rejected from their home. In the more modern age that is now, cutting long hair into a short cut means to forget the past, leaving the old and starting anew.

 So yeah. The only other good thing that's happened to me lately is the fact that school is coming up and the chance to meet new people is available. Previously, I've mad friendships but because of one the other was ruined from the start. 

 

 By now you've probably heard about that girl who I was in love with, and who I took months to get over. Well, yeah. She was my first major friendship, and she introduced me to Major Friendship #2 during the last few weeks of our friendship. Now, the only reason me and Major Friendship #2 really kicked off was because of our mutual dislike of Major Friendship #1. 

 And obviously, a friendship built on hate isn't one that's going to last long. To say the least, #1 is gone for  good and I have no idea what happened to #2 (I'm calling it a MIA). At this point I just want a new friend who is my friend because they actually like me, not because I'm a default. After all these years, I just want someone I can talk to without forcing myself open. 

 I felt violated, honestly. There was this one time when I had to force myself to open up. Because I was so scared they'd leave. It wasn't a situation I felt comfortable in. It was one of those things where someone yells at you for not telling them something and you end up doing just that so they won't run off. Now, I don't even talk to this person and they know things about me that I hate myself for telling them. I hate the fact that someone who only stayed with me for a month or two knows such personal things about me. 

 I hate it. 

 

 So I hope, that for one in a very long time, I'll meet someone who I can trust. Who I can actually open up to and want to talk to without feeling pressured. Because no matter what, telling it to someone who you don't trust is much worse then keeping it in. 

 

 And that was the happy bit. 

 The next time I update this will either be when something interesting happens in my life, when something pops into my head at a random moment, but most certainly, when school starts up. Or sooner, we never know. Until then, adieu my friends. 

Adieu.