Ah yes, so my Sophomore year of high school has started! Three weeks in and things have been very fun. My new classes are pretty neat and so far I'm really appreciating that I joined my Honors classes in preparation for AP. I have to say though, at first taking higher up classes really scared me because I didn't know if I was capable or not. My English Honors was the one I was most afraid for - but it ended up being right at (if not below slightly?) my level. My other classes have been quite the experience too.
1st- Audio/Visual Media
2nd- Culinary Arts
3rd- Biology
4th- History (My top favorite class of all time. Thinking of Majoring in it because honestly, for me it's just like being told stories. Really inspirational stuff!)
5th- English
6th- Geometry.
So far I think my top 3 classes are History, Biology, and Geometry. All very fun. I really do enjoy learning, and I know a lot of people think it's weird that I have that opinion of school. I hold a lot of respect for teachers and what they do - hell, they're literally carrying the next generations. So I always try to do my best whilst on my own personal quest for knowledge.
The only major setback has been with friends! I only have one class with my dearest friend, which had been a big bummer for us both, and none with my friend T. Now, usually that wouldn't bother me, but I had been in the process of wooing T so you can see how that would make things difficult.
Romantically speaking, things have been all over the place with me. In fact, something huge happened the first freakin' week of school. As I said above, I was interested in my friend T. 'Had been since the 2nd semester of my Freshman year. I was even going to ask him out. But. My second dearest friend, F. (lets use vague letters so in case they ever see this I won't be foiled)
Ok, so let's me real. I adored him from day 1 when we were introduced. We literally talked every day and the first thing I thought was "wow what a nice". He and my other good friend made me feel super at home with my new life at school. So he and I became incredibly close all throughout Freshman year. We texted for hours, and literally had 4 hour phone calls. He was my best friend - possibly the closest person I've been to in years. And it was mutual. Honestly, I never really openly accepted that I liked him until the end of the year. I had been helping him with his girl troubles all year - giving him advice and doing my best to help him get someone. So - end of the year. Summer starts.
Also- should put in that we had discussed a FWB situation around Christmas but never went through with it.
But yes, summer. He was going out-of-state to his dads so I only got to see him once. I went to his house and we hung, and then, at the very very end when we were getting ready to go he asked me if I wanted to kiss. Now, the sudden situation made me very cautious so I stayed seated and questioned whether or not he really wanted to (if he was sure, etc). He ended up backing out. So things went on. The second I got home I literally wanted to punch myself because wow, I could have kissed him.
He leaves the state. Summer rolls by, and he tells me he's going to stay with his dad because of a family situation. I was literally heartbroken, something I'm sure he still doesn't know. In the month following our relationship spikes dramatically. He says he's starting to like me, and that at multiple intervals during Freshman year he did too. I confess and tell him I liked him the first few months of our friendship (too scared to tell him I liked him the entire time). I told him I liked him currently. He was still processing. He ended up dating someone for a few weeks long-distance, but they broke up for that reason.
At that time school was beginning and he told me he was coming back into AZ for a day to collect his things. I was extremely happy. Second day of school was when he was supposed to come. Around 5-6PM to hang out with me and our dear mutual friend. The drive ended up taking a whole hell of a lot longer, so we dispersed and went home for the night because none of us thought we'd be able to meet up. So I'm sitting at home, it's 10:30PM, and I get a text from him saying he's in town. Now, I was already feeling wretched because I thought I wouldn't be able to see him, so we worked a plan out. 10:30 at night, me and my sister are in the car driving down to a Walmart 20 miles away while his parents make a pit stop.
We get there and hang out for thirty minutes or so, but my sister has to get home quick. The entire time him and I are trying to get away from our sisters and it feels hopeless. He walks us back to our car in the parking lot and my sister gets in while we chat behind the car.
Now, I've probably never been so frozen in my life. The two of us awkwardly stood there chewing our lips and chucking. He starts scooting closer so in my head I'm going "do " but I'm still nervous. Then he said "Come here" and I don't know. I just stopped and we both hugged (only the second time we ever did). And I just wanted to keep him there and bury my head in his neck and not move because I knew he was going. But after a moment or two I pulled my head back and we kissed.
It was simple. Short. He really did have incredibly soft lips.
For me, doing that was saying goodbye. We aren't going to see each other again until Christmas, and he has a girlfriend at home. I'm in the process of letting go. But for me, that was the curtain call.
I think the greatest part of this school year was being able to hold and kiss my favorite boy in a Walmart parking lot.
I profusely apologize for being so sappy and bringing the mood down. Honestly, I've trailed off quite a bit. But this was an important moment in my life, and this is my blog. So you can see how those two would piece together.
Adeu, and thanks for reading!
-L.
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