NaNoWriMo 2013

I just finished my my first 50,000 words in NaNoWriMo (the title was Gold, and I ended with 91 pages), and I don't know why, but I almost feel somber about it. Like, looking back at the story I really enjoyed it a lot and I plan to finish it, definitely, because I need to see how it ends. Writing it was like an adventure, and I guess I'm sad because I know I'll be leaving those parts of me behind in the coming months because there's no official motivation or clock I need to keep up with.

I might continue it next NaNo, as the second part to the first novel, but in a way that's too long. I feel really emotionally involved with this story and that's one of the reasons I feel sad about finishing. Sure, it's really awesome I'm done and all, I'm so glad I did it, but still. It's so fresh in my mind I don't know how to accurately describe what's happening.

I'm getting all emotional about my characters, even the little minor ones, because it is a tragic story and what's happened to them is only just now sinking in. It seems all horrible and fun when you first write it, but then it sinks in and you realize what you've done to these imaginary people. They're like my kids, and I just want them to be happy but in some cases, that's just not how the story goes.

Bad things happen and you can't let those things go without repercussion, one because that's bad writing, and two because that's not how people are. I know some people might think it's weird to feel bad over something fictional, but hey, if you're a writer, I'm sure you know how I feel.

These are just the thoughts that have been rolling around in my head since I finished about an hour ago, and maybe they'll wear off soon, but until then, I'm going to continue planning out how to finish this story. The first 50k only covered 1/3 of it, so it's my pleasure to finish it in the months to come. I want to flesh out these characters and get to know them better, dive deeper, and, I swear to god, plan a way for some of them to make it through the struggles with only mild wounds.