My sexuality has always been a bit fuzzy to me. I've liked boys and I've liked girls, so naturally people would assume I'm bi, right?
I've never felt comfortable relating to bisexuality. Whenever my my friends if I was bi I could never answer and just said 'straight', even thought I had dated a girl before. For the longest time I had no idea what my sexuality was and honestly, it was beginning to make me uncomfortable. Every time I'd see a girl and think '"she's cute" I'd stop and think "am I gay?". After all, I've always been able to appreciate a lady with good looks. But that being said, I knew I wasn't gay because I've always thought men/boys were attractive too.
When questioning my sexuality there was only two answers I could think of; straight and homo. Bi wasn't even a thing I wanted to consider. That's how uncomfortable I was with it. I've never had anything against people who are bisexual, but I can and never will be able to affiliate with it.
The whole "sexuality crisis" deal was pushed aside after awhile. Of course it would still bother me here and there, but I never really took the time to think about it. Until one day when I was browsing Tumblr.
Now, I'd come across the term "pansexual" several times before but I'd never taken the time to learn about it. So after seeing it again I decided to check it out and head to Google. To give you a good idea of what I found, here's a summery of what pansexuality is I found on a site.
"Adjective
1. Psychiatry. pertaining to the theory that all human behavior is based on sexuality.
2. Also omnisexual, expressing or involving sexuality in many different forms or with a variety of sexual outlets.
Pansexuality is a sexual orientation that embraces all sexes and gender. People who self-identify themselves as pansexual, also referred to as omnisexual, could be open to romantic and sexual relationships with men, women, transsexuals, transgenders, agendered/gender-queer and intersex people.
The word pansexual comes from the greek prefix "pan-", which translated means "all". Not saying that pansexuals like everyone, but are open to the idea of not discriminating against someone because of what they choose to identify themselves as or based off their appearance. Pansexuals don't define who they love by a person's biological sex, or gender identity. Instead, they are gender-blind and become involved with people from all different places on the gender and sexuality spectrums." -- www.whatispansexual.com.
Now I can't tell you how nice it felt. Literally, I just took a deep breath and it felt like a huge load had been lifted off my shoulders. To be able to identify with something and be able to put a proper name on my feelings was just so relieving.
Anyway, that's it for now. (Getting tired of this, need to take a nap before the new The Walking Dead comes on!)
-L.
I've never felt comfortable relating to bisexuality. Whenever my my friends if I was bi I could never answer and just said 'straight', even thought I had dated a girl before. For the longest time I had no idea what my sexuality was and honestly, it was beginning to make me uncomfortable. Every time I'd see a girl and think '"she's cute" I'd stop and think "am I gay?". After all, I've always been able to appreciate a lady with good looks. But that being said, I knew I wasn't gay because I've always thought men/boys were attractive too.
When questioning my sexuality there was only two answers I could think of; straight and homo. Bi wasn't even a thing I wanted to consider. That's how uncomfortable I was with it. I've never had anything against people who are bisexual, but I can and never will be able to affiliate with it.
The whole "sexuality crisis" deal was pushed aside after awhile. Of course it would still bother me here and there, but I never really took the time to think about it. Until one day when I was browsing Tumblr.
Now, I'd come across the term "pansexual" several times before but I'd never taken the time to learn about it. So after seeing it again I decided to check it out and head to Google. To give you a good idea of what I found, here's a summery of what pansexuality is I found on a site.
"Adjective
1. Psychiatry. pertaining to the theory that all human behavior is based on sexuality.
2. Also omnisexual, expressing or involving sexuality in many different forms or with a variety of sexual outlets.
Pansexuality is a sexual orientation that embraces all sexes and gender. People who self-identify themselves as pansexual, also referred to as omnisexual, could be open to romantic and sexual relationships with men, women, transsexuals, transgenders, agendered/gender-queer and intersex people.
The word pansexual comes from the greek prefix "pan-", which translated means "all". Not saying that pansexuals like everyone, but are open to the idea of not discriminating against someone because of what they choose to identify themselves as or based off their appearance. Pansexuals don't define who they love by a person's biological sex, or gender identity. Instead, they are gender-blind and become involved with people from all different places on the gender and sexuality spectrums." -- www.whatispansexual.com.
Now I can't tell you how nice it felt. Literally, I just took a deep breath and it felt like a huge load had been lifted off my shoulders. To be able to identify with something and be able to put a proper name on my feelings was just so relieving.
Anyway, that's it for now. (Getting tired of this, need to take a nap before the new The Walking Dead comes on!)
-L.
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