First month of 2014 and things have been pretty interesting! I spent New Years at the mall with friends and ended the day by breaking my toe on our living room couch (I literally stubbed my toe so hard I broke it what the heckie). I got some new stuff for my room including a really nice Game of Thrones poster and some new clothes/jewelry.
There's been a lotta drama at school, especially centered around my group of friends. They all have this ridiculous three-way friendship going on with each other and it's gotten pretty confusing. Other than that, school itself has gotten really stressful. I got my certificate for Semester 1 Honor Roll, which I'm really proud of, and an invitation to join the National Honors Society. NHS is stressing me out because of the tough entry requirements but it is something I'd really like to be a part of... Ug. The third thing is our school Newspaper. My English teacher asked me to join and do articles, but it involves talking to strangers and being really outgoing. I can already see the panic attacks on the horizon, and I can't refuse because I'm such a people pleaser and I will hate myself if I say no. On the bright side, at least it will look good on my resume,,,
The best event though was last night!!! Last night my school had our Winter Formal (a dance) and I went with my friend and we had a blast. It went from 8pm-11pm and I was ecstatic. I got a new dress and tights for it and ended up looking pretty cute! The dress was probably the shortest thing I've ever worn, but the tights made it work. Plus the high waistline made my chest look good (something petty I tend to stress over omg). The heels I had were killer tho, and after the first hour my feet were dying. The music was so fun too, and they played things like Gundam Style and Gaspedal (which was so fun to dance to I stg). For the slow-dance they even played one of my favorite songs - "Don't wanna miss a Thing" - and I danced with my friend to it.
It was also really nice because the Friday before I'd spent the night at my other friends house. The next morning we went to an event for our Culinary club and helped make the food.
But I think the thing I'm looking forward to most is tomorrow, which is when I may get questions about slow-dancing with my friend during the romantic songs. We know it was platonic, but it might've sent some red flags to them cause they have no idea I'm not straight. I guess it would be nice tho to come out without having to actually to say so.
If they ask what my sexuality is, it's gonna be confusing. I know 100% that I'm not straight because I have literally never identified as such and the idea is crazy to me. Over the years I've ID'd as pansexual, but now I'm not sure. It doesn't sit quite right with me anymore and I'm not sure why. Lately I've just been saying "Queer" cause it's easier than saying "Girls are always good - no matter what - and so is everyone else on the gender binary, but boys are hit or miss." Like, I see boys that I'm legit attracted to and would date, but it's so rare. Basically, Queer is how I roll, and I guess that's what I'll say. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and find other Queer girls.
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