Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Attempt At Third Person. Derp.

 Tonight I was listening to some music and suddenly the word "meek" popped into my head. It wouldn't go away so I decided to write up a quick story in order to get rid of the itch. While I was thinking about what to write, two of my characters came up. I love them, so I decided to write a little snippet of their history. Then I decided to write in third person, which I suck royally at. The original took me about ten minutes to write but then my computer crashed and I lost everything. After going into a all-caps rage I re-wrote it, taking much less time. I actually like how it turned out, so I thought I'd document my first semi-successful third person story on this blog. It's super short, but that's ok! Anyway, read it if you want to, and if you like it I'd love it if you left a comment saying so.

WARNING: This hasn't been checked for grammar and hasn't been edited at all, so some parts may or may not be a little wacky. Enjoy!

 The halls were silent, the only sound coming from the creaking windows. Outside, the November winds crashed against the fragile glass without care, threatening to break them. Everyone in the massive fortress had gone to bed hours earlier, leaving the building to seem abandoned. In the distance there was the faint sound of footsteps accompanied by a clicking sound. As the clicking continued it bounced off the walls and echoed down every corridor.

  Realizing she was identifying her position, the boot's owner stopped. Swearing under her breath, the young woman slipped her boots off and apologized to her companion. He nodded briefly before continuing his pace, looking back every few minutes to make sure she was keeping up.

  The cold floors seared her feet, but the woman ignored it and continued after the man. In a few minutes they arrived at a door. Curious, the young woman asked where it led. The man smiled slightly and answered in a hush tone, telling her it led to their target. Once he had said it, the woman was smiling in excitement while he took a key off his person and unlocked the door. It lazily swung open and revealed a long hall lined with doors. At the end there was a single door that looked the oldest and the most recently used.

  Without hesitating the man walked through and waited for his companion, once she was through he shut the hall door and locked it in place once more. While he was doing that, the young woman had already made her way to the end of the hall and was jiggling the seconds doors handle. The man walked briskly down to her and pulled out a second key, quickly unlocking it. Like the first one, the door swung open and revealed a small room.

  Struck with wonder, the young woman walked in and looked around carefully. There was a old canopy bed against the wall with a soft looking blanket covering the mattress. Without asking she walked over and sat down, nearly having a heart attack when the bed gave out a loud creak. The man stood across the room, chuckling to himself and trying to hide it behind his black turtle neck. The young woman flushed before continuing to take in the room. Other then the bed there was a desk littered with books, pictures and scattered papers along with a luxurious looking window seat. The entire room was coated in a light layer of dust, giving it an even older feeling.

  She walked over and curled against the pillows provided, enjoying the comfy feel of them. The window looked out on the nearby forest while a city's lights glittered in the distance. A feeling of yearning took over her, reviving her secret dream of escaping the fortress she lived in. For the time being though, she was content with nestling in the pillows and drifting off.

  From across the room the man walked over and sat down next to her, accidentally forcing a layer of dust up from the seat. She sneezed a few times then scooted over to him, resting her head on his shoulder while looking for warmth. He was only a few year older then her, looking like a young 20 year old. He was slim and tall, giving him a graceful cat-like figure. His raven black hair fell in choppy layers, ending around the bottom of his neck. His eyes always seemed to change color, but normally stayed gold. They shined even brighter against his pale skin complexion, and seemed to glow in the dark.

  He thought briefly then wrapped an arm around her shoulder, trying to make both of them more comfortable. She smiled to herself then looked up at him, her green eyes sparkling in the dark. He craned down and gently kissed her, smiling slightly when her cheeks turned a light pink.

  They sat together in the dark for the rest of the night, meekly exchanging kisses and eventually moving towards more intimate things. Through the entire night though, the feeling of light happiness hung in the man's heart, giving him a sense of weightlessness. Every kiss he was allowed to give her felt like a load lifted from his shoulders.

 So yeah! There it is, my little short. That's all for now,
 - Laura.

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